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Comments 1 - 14 of 14

Floor Man's avatar

Floor Man

Um, you guys. spoiler
8 years 1 month ago
lachyas's avatar

lachyas

Ocean's Transformers: Egyptian Boogaloo
7 years 11 months ago
Facundo Reyes's avatar

Facundo Reyes

Mighty Morphing Power Rangers Lions Kings.
7 years 9 months ago
lahiru's avatar

lahiru

It is better than I thought
7 years 10 months ago
fonz's avatar

fonz

Maybe I'm not the target audience for this, but the trailers presented what seemed like a jolly good enjoyment of a terrible film. There is no redeeming this unholy mess. Lacking any memorible lines (I was waiting for Leonidas to scream "THIS. IS. EGYPT!!!") nor interesting characters (I mostly lost interest once Cleavage Magee went on her long half-time walk), but it has enough Freemasonic symbolism to make the theorists to declare that Hollywood is trying to brainwash the six people that saw this in the theater.

The biggest disappointment is the reinterpretation of the Osiris myth--as everyone knows, of the 14 pieces that he was chopped up into, all but the penis were recovered yet here it is changed to the heart. Mr. Proyas missed a golden opportunity to incorporate more sexual undertones including the time when Horus ate Set's jizz.

Of the two Egyptian god films I saw this week (how the fuck did that happen? I seriously didn't realize the central conflict in both would be exactly the same), I prefer River of Fundament because not only does it more accurately depict the Set/Horus conflict, it was a far better use of my time and money since things like a $140 million disaster don't really need your support.
8 years 1 month ago
Zolex's avatar

Zolex

A lot of gold, fake looking flames, and so much awkward running and jumping. All unnatural dialogues. How the box office was higher than the budget is beyond me.
6 years 3 months ago
Junker's avatar

Junker

Flashy. Nothing beyond that, though.
8 years 1 month ago
Axel Fritzler's avatar

Axel Fritzler

A giant Jamie Lannister carrying a hot twink in his arms worked for me.
3 years 7 months ago
Marazmatique's avatar

Marazmatique

Equal parts pretty and stupid
4 years 6 months ago
LunaCSunshine's avatar

LunaCSunshine

Basically what you would expect.

The visual effects were cinema-quality but just so. The film relied on the usual amount of spectacle you'd expect from a full-length feature film, but of course, at the expense of any real storytelling. Just as you would expect, the writing is subpar and the characters leave plenty to be desired, as much of the budget appears to be blown on set design and visuals.

Hollywood has plenty of spectacle but suffers from a lack of good scripts and story ideas. This film is an indication of that.

Another note: I never really notice whitewashing when it happens…As an Asian female who probably more culturally identifies as a "white person", I myself have admittedly done my own whitewashing in the majority of my own fiction, which is really hard to break away from.

…but even I have to admit that it's weird that a film would be so brazenly Egyptian inspired and yet feature a predominantly white cast…with English accents. I can't get over the English accents…it's so bizarre. Egyptian people with British accents…okay.

But yeah, that's not really why the movie was bad. It's just those little quirks don't do much to establish a powerful Gestalt, which is kind of worth noting.
7 years 5 months ago
ikkegoemikke's avatar

ikkegoemikke

"A gift from someone with great assets, and someone with very few. But when both die and are at the Final Gate... What is its value?
I say we are equal."


image

I thought this would be something similar like "Exodus: Gods and Kings". A historical story set in Egypt with immense scenery's and an abundance of special effects. Well, it certainly is situated in Egypt. And the bag of tricks, full of kitsch and console-game-like special effects were exploited to the utmost. Only, now it's not about a biblical figure but the mythological world of Egypt. Ancient Egypt where people and gods live alongside each other. It sometimes resembled "Gulliver's Travels" since all those gods of Egypt have an imposing figure compared to the ordinary mortals. Ultimately, it's a kind of historical "Transformers". So, full of exaggerated action and impressive transformations into imaginative creatures.

From the opening shot, it's clear where the biggest amount of money was spent on. A gliding flight over the Egyptian landscape and arriving in a busy shopping street of Egypt. I thought this was already a delight to watch. We get to know Bek (Brenton "The Giver" Thwaites), a kind of Aladdin and a petty thief who succeeds in stealing a (probably in those days) fashionable gown for his beloved Zaya (Courtney "Mad Max: Fury Road" Eaton). And this leads us to the second, unavoidable story : the idyllic love affair. An Egyptian couple with a bright future in front of them and who'll ultimately be victims of the core story. Eternal love, divine adoration for each other and languorous glances, are the obnoxious symptoms we are witnessing. Granted, it wasn't overly annoying. And also this story introduces the most eye-catching prop of the entire movie. That heaving bosom of Eaton. I am almost sure that it does not comply with the usual proportions of that era, but it was the only thing that could distract me from all the other epic violence.

Obviously you should watch this spectacle movie without thinking and let yourself be overwhelmed by the lavish fantasy world. The only thing that bothered me was that they tried to cram the entire Egyptian mythological world in this film. As a result, the pacing is scorching high. You've only just put yourself down in your cozy chair and two over-sized gods are already rolling all over the city center. A sort of re-introduction of "King Kong vs. Godzilla". And so one action-packed scene after the other passes by. The fascinating situation about Anubis and the Underworld, two giant snakes writhing over a huge maze or some "Tomb Raider" platform stunt-work in the temple of Set (Gerald Butler). You won't get bored. The most fascinating and crazy part was reserved for Geoffrey "Barbossa" Rush as the god Ra who's pulling the sun with his floating spacecraft around a disc-shaped earth. I instantly wanted to reread books by Terry Pratchett.

Concerning content you shouldn't expect too much. And sometimes it's quite illogical. Of course those gods always tend to have an easy solution when a problem occurs, which is an advantage for the subsequent course of the story. You can predict the outcome already from an Egyptian mile away. That's no surprise either. And also the CGI wasn't top notch sometimes in this sword-and-sandal. But this film is mainly judged based on the trailer (which I obviously haven't seen because I try to avoid them studiously) and therefor is ripped to pieces by critics. Yet I find this somewhat exaggerated.

Well it's true. At all levels it doesn't contain any profundity. But what do you expect of this type of movie? Highly intellectual conversations and thoughtful screenplay? You also don't expect in a movie such as "Schindler's List" diabolical fright moments or exciting car chases with stirring music? "God of Egypt" showed what I was expecting. Over the top spectacle and action which is digitally displayed in a partially successful way. It effortlessly transcends the level of any Asylum movie. Thank God.

More reviews here : http://bit.ly/1KIdQMT
7 years 10 months ago
DaniloFreiles's avatar

DaniloFreiles

Un tocco di La mummia con la traccia de Il ladro di Bagdad (film 1940).

Ho trovato la risposta all'enigma prima del dio più sapiente d'egitto... muoahahaha!!!
4 years 2 months ago
Groovy09's avatar

Groovy09

image
6 years 10 months ago
blondy2323's avatar

blondy2323

I loved it! The scenery was beautiful and the story was decent, unexpected (which is always a plus in my book). Nice looking actors.
8 years 1 month ago
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