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SilentJoe13

You know what's worse than a bad vampire film?

A bad boring vampire film.

You know what's worse than a bad, boring vampire film?

A boring artsy farsty vampire film.

You know what's worse than a boring artsy fartsy vampire film?

A boring artsy farsty vampire film with a pretentious metaphor that is never even subtle in any way possible. Nothing new. Nothing clever. Just obvious nonsense.

Imagine all of that wrapped into one steaming pile of goat shit.
9 years 3 months ago
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SilentJoe13

I learned exactly three things while watching this...

1. When British people get angry, they simultaneously become scary and hard to understand.

2. It had to suck living in South East London, especially with guys like Ray Winstone running around.

3. Gary Oldman is almost as excellent of a director as he is an actor.
He's also got great taste in music.
9 years 3 months ago
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SilentJoe13

I wonder how well Bruce Willis would do giving a Joseph-Gordon Levitt impression...
9 years 3 months ago
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SilentJoe13

This epic adaptation features Emma Thompson as an angel of the lord saying "The stiffening of your penis is of no consequence." and coining the phrase "Orgasma asmada." in the same scene.

Therefore, this is the greatest thing ever. Your argument is invalid.
9 years 3 months ago
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SilentJoe13

Don't be a dick unless you wanna lose your dick.
9 years 3 months ago
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SilentJoe13

The most expendable movie of the trilogy.
9 years 3 months ago
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SilentJoe13

"I'll Make A Man Out Of You" is without a doubt the best Disney song ever.
9 years 3 months ago
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SilentJoe13

Quentin Tarantino plays a creepy sleezeball of a director. So basically, he literally plays himself.
9 years 3 months ago
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SilentJoe13

I watched this on the recommendation of a friend who said this was one of his favorite films.

I should probably get new friends.
9 years 3 months ago
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SilentJoe13

I loved this film until the end. The ending just felt lazy. This is still an enjoyable popcorn flick though.
12 years 1 month ago
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SilentJoe13

This is a terrible film, but it's a guilty pleasure for me. It's so bad it's hilarious.
12 years 1 month ago
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